Dinner anyone?

Hi!!! I'm just starting dinner. My Dad comes over 4 to 6 nights a week to eat with us. He's been single for 30 years and used to eat at my Grandma's or out. Grandma is 96 now, so I've taken over feeding Dad.

I'll let you in on a little secret, I don't enjoy cooking in the least. My Grandma and all my aunts cooked for a fancy resteraunts for years. That's a lot to live up to. However, I've learned to quit eating/ordering out and make dinner for my family. dad coming over keeps me disciplined. Besides you know your eating out too much when your daughter says, "Do we have to go out again?"

I'm also now, no stranger to Aldi's and places like Erie County Farms. I've also been seen perusing the Sunday paper grocery adds and can save a lot with coupons. Would you believe I actually even feel proud after I've made my family a full meal. This cooking thing is also easier on both my budget and my waistline.

Medical Bill Mania

I sat down to pay bills today. We had over $1400.00 in medical bills to pay that I have been sitting on for months. I know what your thinking and the answer is yes we have insurance. However, insurance today just ain't what it used to be. We're still trudging along.

Frank is a discussion leader for the FPU class at church. I'm kinda of glad to have Dave Ramsey back in our face again. We need it.

They all want money!!

This past few weeks every where I turn I'm dishing out money I don't really have per say. My sweeper broke...I clean houses...has to be fixed. My daughters lunch fund. My husbands annual (Mandatory) banquet for his work...Ticket $40. Toilet paper...it's a necessity. Car Inspection... HELP!!!

I can't wait to have that emergency fund back in place. What a stress reliever and comfort it was to have it there. I just have to find a way to get working on it. I just need to focus. When there's a will there's a way. I've been doing a lot of talking to God about the stress of money lately.

OK. So Frank's family came up from Arizona for 10 days. Talk about a whirl wind of juggling money for entertaining. It's hard to say "No, we can't" when it's their vacation and they haven't been here in 10 years. Thank God for the Peninsula, Asbury Woods, Buttermilk Falls, and the Erie Zoo. I guess sometimes we just have to be humble and say, "I'm sorry, our budget is tight could we do this instead?"

God's been so great this week, a few jobs canceled, but we got a few extra to make up for it. I even found $60 in my car. Yee Haw!!!!

My goal has been to refocus on our budget sheets by the end of the month. So by the start of school we're following "The Plan". Maybe more like the "Path" Paths have more room for movement and grace.

Sherry

Hope

I sat down to pay bills today and I was actually able to pay everything i needed to without being late. Earlier in the week I thought I may have to pay a few credit cards late, but I didn't. Hopefully we're getting back on track after a crappy July.

After taking the Dave Ramsey course it was so much easier to deal with creditors who called last month. He has a lesson on how to deal with creditors calls and it made thing much less intimidating. I felt empowered to actually talk to them.

If you have a chance to take the course, DO IT!!!!!! It is a great course. I hope listening to our journey helps someone out there.

Well, after getting hit with numerous bank charges last week our checking account is now back in the black. Talk about getting kicked while your down. Every time I'd get money to put in my account they would throw another charge on there. OUCH!!!!

Lesson: I tend to be all or nothing with everything. Losing weight, tithing, our finances. I have to stay committed to looking at this money stuff every day. Without ceasing. Also, I learned that when our finances out out of control, I grab at anything else to try to gain control of something. My house, Frank..... anything. I just need a sense of I have something under control.

Here's what I've done on our budget. I made a calendar for every month of when all bills are due and what comes out automatically. This helps so much. I've also been making lists of what we can pay and what will be the most sensible to wait until we get things under control. As, I've learned from Jill and Dave Ramsey: "take care of the four walls around you first."

So, we had a set back. It doesn't have to keep us down. We're back on the trail.

Where's the light?

This has been a rough week. We had overdrawn our checking account. I've spent the whole week trying to come up with creative ways to come up with some cash. Frank took some children's things to a consignment store that brought us a whole $30. We even took some jewelry to sell it for the gold. that brought a whole $163. Doesn't seem like much when it was my mother's wedding set from her second marriage. I have felt very pathetic this week. Why do we keep ending up here.

On a positive note, We handled the week together for the most part. We were a team. There's gotta be some good in that. I took the late calls, and didn't ignore them. I actually talked to those people. I looked at that pile of bills and sorted through it instead of pretending it didn't exist. Frank wanted to borrow money from our parents. I said 'NO". Not because of pride but because that's the easy thing to do. We need to struggle through this and learn new ways. That's what we've done in the past, this is a new day. Sometimes life can really seem to kick you when your down. But I remind myself that this world is temporary, and I have a Savior who loves me despite my shortcomings.

I've heard of so many horrible tragedies this week, many people have lost loved ones and are hurting deeply. Our problems seem so small in comparison.

Today Frank and I had a grown up conversation about where we stand money wise this week. As stated previously I used to handle this alone. Or, as I didn't state, we would talk about the "money stuff", and than play the blame game. That was our way of dealing with our own personal guilt and shame.

Today, I shared where we're at, He listened, and together we talked about a plan of action. Than, we prayed together. How cool was that. We're growing up. Slowly but surely.

Remember when I wrote I want to figure this money thing out once and for all. It's not happening like that. It definitely is a journey with many ups and downs. This week is a real downer. I don't have enough in the checking account to cover everything. And I've been doing so well. Lack of planning. Well, something is going to have to get paid a bit late. I hate that. I won't allow myself to feel defeated. I can't. I just need to learn to plan better and re-focus my efforts.

Talking to Frank about this helps. It was so hard when I used to handle it all on my own. I guess that's sort of what God means about bearing each other's burdens. Well, I told you I was going to be transparent. This is the honest truth in my debt journey, " A Yucky Week".

Recently our small group has had the opportunity to pilot the "Dave Ramsey Financial Freedom Study" for the church. Let me give you some background how this came about. One of our small group members asked if I thought we could do the Financial Freedom study with group. I'm the leader. My first thoughts were "Yuck!!!!! money stuff..... I'd rather have a root canal" Well, God had some work to do with me.

It was last November we were planning a trip to Savannah, Georgia for Frank's niece's wedding. I handled the money in our home and was so stressed because, as usual, I had no idea where the money was going to come from for us to go. All Frank kept telling me was "Sherry, just leave everything behind. Let's just go and have fun." Frank had no idea we had no money for the trip. He had gotten really stressed over our finances to the point of having a panic attack. So I took them over and didn't burden him with the details. I'm really good at denial. We ended up borrowing money from friends and went on our trip. It was fun, but the best part was God had been doing some work on my way of thinking.

The good friends we stayed with in Georgia, had been doing some sharing. They had their house 2 payments from being payed off. WOW! They had investments. They were frugal with things. For instance when I used their washer to do some laundry it was LOUD. Why didn't they just get a new one I thought? OHHHH maybe that's why their home was just about payed for. I kept thinking their our age, what do we have to show for all our hard work. NOTHING. Ouch!!!!!

Then to find out they even listen to that Dave Ramsey guy, my small group wanted to do. OK God, I hear you loud and clear. I get it. So we came home from Georgia and I planned to get serious about money. Surely I could figure this out once and for all. So, I contacted my small group friend and said let's do the course. Our debt trip began.

We've been attending Grace for over 13 years. My husband Frank more like the last 8.5 years. Frank realized his need for Christ 2 months after we adopted Jenna. As posted previously we waited 9 years, several miscarriages, and each losing a parent to cancer before God blessed us with a child. Two months later, Frank lost his job. He was crushed. I was angry. All I could think about was that I waited this long to be a "mom" and now I have to work full time while He gets to stay home with my sweet little girl.

I also understood how devastating this was for him. I too in the past have lost a job. And it hurts and cuts you down to the core. It really strips you raw. I tried to be as supportive as possible. It was through this time that Frank really realized his need for Christ. He had been coming to church with me since we received Jenna, but only because I told him if we were going to have a child, we would go to church as a family. Now things were different, he was hurting and needed someone to turn to.

Now we're both very involved at Grace. And we absolutely love our church family. It's so great to do church together as a family. My heart goes out to the people who sit in the service alone. I know that feeling well, I did it for 5 years. Just remember God is faithful and good.

About me and my family.

Hello out there. I'm Sherry DelleCurti. I've been married to Frank for 17 years. We have one daughter, who is 8 going on 20. We waited 9 long years to become parents. We adopted Jenna as an infant and she has brought us great joy along with parental frustrations.

I wanted to write on our debt trip because it is something we personally have struggled with our whole married life. Yes, and we're still married. I'm hoping through my transparency that others can know their not alone; but also talking about it makes you deal with it.

How did debt enter my life? Well I am the product of divorced parents when I was 10. My mom remarried right away. My Dad never remarried. I was able to spend two days with him every week and He spoiled me. We always went out to eat (He doesn't cook). On birthdays, I learned "It doesn't matter what it costs, do you like it?" When I learned to drive my dad bought me my first 3 cars. And to be honest, He's helped pay for some of every vehicle since. On the other side of the coin my mom and my step dad never shared anything about money. So as you can see I've grown up with quite a distorted view of how money works. It hasn't been until my late 30's that I even realized I needed to figure this whole money thing out. I guess I'm a late bloomer.

So here we are on the debt trip.